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So I’m officially 23 now and nobody likes me anymore. I really do feel a whole lot older, but also a lot more grateful and appreciative for all the little things in my life.

It’s been a wild 23 rotations around the sun – I’ve had some incredible adventures, met amazing people, made memories in all corners of the globe, and even learned a thing or two along the way.

Here are 23 things that I’ve learned after 23 years of wrong turns, bad decisions, and making a fool out of myself.

1. Growth only occurs by making yourself vulnerable

I talked about vulnerability a lot in my TED talk experience. Those once in a lifetime opportunities never would’ve happened if I hadn’t embraced vulnerability for everything that it was. At the time, vulnerability is terrifying and uncomfortable, and I’m sure I definitely made a fool out of myself at least once, but I’m a better person for seeing it through to the end.

2. Comfort is the enemy of progress

This goes hand and hand with vulnerability; being uncomfortable is the only way to grow. Whether it’s academically, professionally, or personally, I’ve never been able to move forward while remaining comfortable in habits or routines that ultimately hinder progress.

3. Not everything requires a reaction

Pick your battles. Your time is valuable and doesn’t need to be spent fussing over little things. If it’s not important, let it go.

4. I am only responsible for my actions

I cannot control what other people do or say, only how I react to it.

5. It’s not selfish to make time for yourself

This was the biggest revelation that I have ever made. Millennials have grown up in a hustling society – we need to go to school, go to work, pad our resumes with leadership initiatives, volunteer, spend time with our friends, visit our families – it’s difficult to slow down and make time for ourselves. When we do make time for ourselves, it feels selfish or wrong, like self-care is a thing to be frowned upon. I’ve learned that the only way I operate at my most efficient level is if I’m happy, well-rested, well-fed, and well-exercised. That means making time for sleep, the gym, and cooking meals – and losing the guilt that comes with doing it.

6. There’s nothing wrong with saying “no”

I used to be in a constant state of fear of saying “no”. I worried that if I said “no”, people would think that I was lazy or selfish, or worse, that I would miss out on an opportunity. I’ve learned now that burnout is a real thing and there’s no point in trying to take on more than I can handle just to appease others.

7. There is no “right” or “wrong” path, there is only YOUR path

This sounds like it was taken off of a Hallmark card, but it holds a lot of powerful truth in it. Being online for the last three years, I often have random people telling me what they think is best for me. What I’ve learned is that they’re all wrong, regardless of what they think. What’s best for me is whatever I decide to do and that’s that.

8. Take what you do seriously, but never yourself

A good friend of mine often says this and I think it’s the best advice that I’ve ever heard.

9. The more we learn, the less we know

Yeah, really. You’d think that in the last semester of my undergraduate career I’d be feeling ready to take on the world with all the knowledge that I’ve gained, instead, I’ve got more questions now than ever before.

10. Love comes in many forms

Friendships, families, romantic relationships, places, moments – love them all and cherish them all.

11. If you don’t love what you do every day, do something else instead

It really is that simple. Find what sets your soul on fire and pour every ounce of yourself into it.

12. Appreciate the success of others

Celebrate the successes of your peers the same way that you celebrate your own. Success is not a pie; just because someone else is getting a slice doesn’t mean that you get any less. Uplift and encourage others every chance that you get.

13. A grateful heart is a magnet for good things

One of the best things that I’ve started doing is practicing gratitude. Reflecting on all the blessings in my life has made me happier and more appreciative of everything and everyone around me. Practice gratitude and practice it often.

14. Know your worth

Seriously. Stop working for free. Stop putting your time and energy where it’s not appreciated. Know the value of your time, your skills, and your heart. And then, don’t settle for anything less.

15. Ask for what you want – or you’ll never get it

Revolutionary, I know. Whether it’s a bottle of wine at a restaurant that they don’t have on the menu or a job that doesn’t exist yet, if you never ask the answer will always be no.

16. Community is everything

Success isn’t as fun if you have no one to share it with. Cherish those around you.

17. Be present

Take things as they come and don’t worry about what’s going to happen years from now. There’s nothing wrong with planning for the future, but don’t do it during life’s important moments. Be present, pay attention to the little details and appreciate things as they happen.

18. Tell people how you feel

If you love someone, tell them. Life is too short to keep your feelings a secret.

19. You can make a difference when you’re young

A big difference. Don’t let age hold you back from chasing your dreams or fighting for what you believe in. You’re never too young to start and you’re never too young to make a difference.

20. Learn when to apologize

Admit when you’re wrong. It goes a long way.

21. Also, learn when not to apologize

With that being said, also know when you’re right. Don’t apologize for doing what you think was best or for fighting for what you believe in. Know when to stand your ground.

22. Forgive and forgot

Nothing good comes from holding grudges. It’s exhausting. Let it go and move on.

23. Enjoy the little things

Life’s greatest moments happen when you’re least expecting them. Appreciate the everyday little things.

Comments:

  • Rouxne van der Westhuizen

    January 29, 2019

    This was a very insightful and super relatable read. Thanks for sharing the wisdom! Keep on doing what you’re doing – absolutely hooked on your blog content.

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